Tag Archives: depression


I’m so torn and ambivalent,

That my limbs lay dismembered on the floor.

To take a nap so I can make it through another night of hell?

To pay my tithing in blood to my passion?

All day, I crave the taste of gasoline.

I don’t need it,

But the tingling of my dismembered limbs

Would help to take the edge off the strain and burning pain.

Maybe I’ll go back into hiding,

And let the world forget my existence.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t breathe.

Save me.

This Wretched Place

Am I the only one here

Who stares directly into her demons’ eyes?

Nightly, I fight an inner war.

Am I truly alone?

Are the voices I hear just ghosts?

Do they dwell on the things I said?

Maybe I am inherently poisonous,

Self-destructive by nature.

I’ve exhausted all my options,

I turn all the ground I touch to scorched earth.

This place submerges my body in a sea of poison,

And no matter how I tread and gasp for air,

What can you do

When the only interaction you have

Is with yourself and your toxic thoughts?


Waking up, I let my eyes flutter shut again.

I’m not meant to be here,

But I don’t really know how to call out to those who love me

So they can pull me from my slump.

Separating and distancing myself from everyone I know,

I make a solitary venture to the city.

Alone I drive,

Alone I walk into the colorful shop as the scent of dust fills my nose.

It’s a good kind of dust,

One with great associations.

I’m so focused on my work,

That I completely forget about eating,

And I am so engrossed in the paint strokes,

That I can forget how fast my mind is eroding in this world.

I build my mental state back up as I dump more paint on my plate.

As I perfect the angles,

And mix colors to get just the right tone,

I am completely detached from the world.

All I know at the moment is the color pallet

And the plate I’m painting on.

I want to do this more.

Just for a moment,

Things fall right into place,

Or at least they seem to.

Just for a moment,

I don’t need to question my existence.

Monochrome Dream

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I can see it there,

Lingering just beyond my reach.

And now, I can’t feel it anymore.

I want it,

I need it,

But I can’t have it.

I’ve tried abandoning the chains that keep me here

But the chains keep another kind of evil away.

What’s worse?

Wanting what my body will not take another step towards,

Or living in perpetual fear of the evil just beyond the grasp of these chains?

Even more chains keep me bound here,

Chains that cannot be corroded.

Not by chemicals, nor by sheer will.

They tell me there is no way I can free myself.

And I believe them.

But oh, how unbearable it is

When I cannot move from these chains,

Yet I see everyone else around me walking so freely.

Pursuing their desires,

Nothing holding them back from that which they seek.

It frustrates me to no end

That I am trapped

with no way out.

A Sick Pattern (February 14th, 2011)

My bloodshot eyes

And crooked black lines on my face

Depict a sick pattern.

The knife will again befriend me,

And my trust has fallen down a neverending hole.

My crimson 32 scars

And my bloodthirsty desire for dirt

Depict a sick pattern.

All I shall ever be famous for

Is my three minutes on the evening broadcast,

During which I will not be present.

Poetry: Among the Rest

Among the Rest

March 17, 2010



Down the drain, I slid from color,

The pigment in my eyes fading.

I watched the brilliant blue stir

In a vat filled with bright shading.

Oh, the pieces of me diffused.

A person I once knew quite proud,

Continues down the drain, confused…

Is one who is in a fake crowd.


Sarah Raechel Groberg