Tag Archives: poetry

Moment’s Passed

Sometimes, you want to say sorry.

You truly do.

But at this point, will it even matter?

Will the apology mean anything?

The moment’s passed,

And your actions since have done nothing to supplement the apology.

Sometimes, the opportunity exists only for a brief moment.

Whatever reason you missed it,

It doesn’t matter.

There’s no point to take that picture,

Because the sun has already set,

And the moment’s passed.

Sometimes, the opportunity exists for years and years,

Fading only with the light in your eyes.

If we live on after our life here,

Or if we don’t,

A dead person can’t answer,

And the moment’s passed.

Sometimes, the opportunity was never there to begin with.

And we like to give the illusion that it was ever there.

I was going to give you this opportunity,

But then you had to do that thing.

The moment’s passed,

But that’s hardly fair,

Since it was never there.

Sometimes, the opportunity presents itself time and time again.

I tried to give you everything,

But you just wouldn’t take it.

I tried to tell you I love you,

But my words may as well have been cast into the void.

I gave you a chance.

I gave you so many chances so many times.

It always ends the same,

And I don’t see how you and I can move forward.

The moment’s passed,

And it’s never coming back.


I’m so torn and ambivalent,

That my limbs lay dismembered on the floor.

To take a nap so I can make it through another night of hell?

To pay my tithing in blood to my passion?

All day, I crave the taste of gasoline.

I don’t need it,

But the tingling of my dismembered limbs

Would help to take the edge off the strain and burning pain.

Maybe I’ll go back into hiding,

And let the world forget my existence.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

I can’t do this anymore.

I can’t breathe.

Save me.

This Wretched Place

Am I the only one here

Who stares directly into her demons’ eyes?

Nightly, I fight an inner war.

Am I truly alone?

Are the voices I hear just ghosts?

Do they dwell on the things I said?

Maybe I am inherently poisonous,

Self-destructive by nature.

I’ve exhausted all my options,

I turn all the ground I touch to scorched earth.

This place submerges my body in a sea of poison,

And no matter how I tread and gasp for air,

What can you do

When the only interaction you have

Is with yourself and your toxic thoughts?


Waking up, I let my eyes flutter shut again.

I’m not meant to be here,

But I don’t really know how to call out to those who love me

So they can pull me from my slump.

Separating and distancing myself from everyone I know,

I make a solitary venture to the city.

Alone I drive,

Alone I walk into the colorful shop as the scent of dust fills my nose.

It’s a good kind of dust,

One with great associations.

I’m so focused on my work,

That I completely forget about eating,

And I am so engrossed in the paint strokes,

That I can forget how fast my mind is eroding in this world.

I build my mental state back up as I dump more paint on my plate.

As I perfect the angles,

And mix colors to get just the right tone,

I am completely detached from the world.

All I know at the moment is the color pallet

And the plate I’m painting on.

I want to do this more.

Just for a moment,

Things fall right into place,

Or at least they seem to.

Just for a moment,

I don’t need to question my existence.

時鳥の歌 (The Cuckoo’s Song)

泣きないで、娘。                                                  Don’t cry, my daughter.

この罰当たりな場所に‘さようなら’と言う。               You will be saying goodbye to this cursed place.

もう私の顔を見えないのに、                                  Though you can’t see my face,

もっと静かで易いところへ行こう。                           You will be going to a quieter, easier place.

もう娘の首の縫合が見えない。                              I can no longer see the stitches on your neck.

私は自分の創造に微笑む。                                   I smile at my creation.

いつか、また会うかもしれない。                            Perhaps one day, we will meet again.

でも、                                                                     But,

きっと、                                                                  Surely,

もう会えない。                                                        We will not.

忘れないで、                                                          Don’t forget,

泣きないで、                                                           Don’t cry,

次の世に、また娘のきれい顔が見える。                 In the next life, I will see your beautiful face again.

次の世に、また一緒に鯉は泳ぐことが見える。        In the next life, we will watch the koi swim again.

時鳥の歌をが聞こえる。                                          I can hear the cuckoo’s song.

娘は、今この音の意味がわからないけど、             You don’t know the meaning of its sound now,

いつか、同じ河に旅する。                                      But one day, you will travel to this same river.

その時に、時鳥の歌が聞こえるから、                    In that moment, you will hear the cuckoo’s song,

その後で、また娘の顔が見える。                           And thereafter, I will see your face again.

Character descriptions

I believe the best way to describe a character is through their actions and words. Like Stephen King said, it’s better to develop your characters through dialogue, rather than describing their mannerisms. If the characters are true to their described mannerisms, then description won’t even be necessary because the readers can see for themselves how that character can be described based on what they do or say. Are they disrespectful? Do they cut corners? Are they known for smelling good and being nice to everyone they meet? Give examples throughout the book illustrating what the character does and says to demonstrate these.

Here’s some practice for building characters through dialogue.

Pick 2-3 important characters from your story, and rephrase these questions/sentences in their own words.

1. “I was not impressed with my service.” (Maybe if your character is passive, they decide not to say anything all together, or maybe discuss it later with a friend when they’re removed from the situation)

2. “Did you get enough to eat?”

3. “There’s something I want to show you.”

4. ” That won’t work.”

5. “Could you lower the volume just a little?”

6. “It’s my turn to watch TV.”

7. “I’m worried about you.”

Visual Neglect (January 13, 2014)

The naivete of the human soul,

And the way that temptations dangle in our way,

Can invoke the greatest of fools within us.

I was too close to see.

Too distant to hear the sirens wailing.

But the truth was just below the sand underneath my feet.

The monster hiding in plain sight

Is so well-rehearsed.

Knows just the words

To make him completely invisible.

Knows just the words to say

So that you see halos instead of horns.

Cursebreak #1: The American Dream Curse

I mentioned this initially when I introduced the concept of Cursebreak to you folks, and I’m going to describe what it is.

In short: The American Dream Curse is the constant, nagging feeling that you’re wasting your time.

In long: The American Dream Curse is a motivational factor. Yes, it’s a little voice in the back of your head telling you over and over again that you are wasting your time when you’re not at the keyboard, or easel, or whichever vessel you take to get closer to your dreams. In moderate amounts, this is a good thing. You need a driving factor telling you to get things done, and it’s even better when that driving force is yourself. If you only wrote or drew when you wanted to, you wouldn’t get hardly anything done. However, there is a fine line between this curse being a good thing and a bad thing.

Why it’s a good thing: As you get older, the only thing that seems to matter is how much of an impact you have on the world. You want to leave your imprint, to let people know that you were here, and that you made great use of your time on Earth. The American Dream is founded on the belief that if any American tries hard enough, they can succeed. No dream is too far-fetched. There are no limitations. The only limitation is yourself (debatable if you’re not a white man). It’s great to believe in yourself, and if you didn’t believe in yourself, you wouldn’t have that little voice at the back of your head telling you to get it together and put that pen to paper.

Why it’s also a bad thing: It’s a slippery slope. Yes, that voice is your best friend at first. Like I said, it’s even better if the driving force is yourself. You don’t really notice just how hard you’re being on yourself until it becomes unmanageable. It starts out simple enough, “Oh man, I didn’t get the thing done today. I’ll try again another time.” But you ultimately become unforgiving of yourself when you do this. That voice in the back of your head compares you to others. “Look at Bill Gates. He never stops working. Look at J.K. Rowling. You want to be like her, don’t you? Do you think she was this lazy?” First of all, success is relative. Think about the hardest-working person in our nation, and that person is likely the President of the United States. Whether or not you like him or dislike him, you have to admit that Obama does have a big workload, and there are a lot of things people expect him to do and promises to uphold. If he screws up even once, no matter how trivial it is, people all over the nation are going to criticize him up and down for it. There’s a reason not a lot of people want to run for president, and it’s because it’s such a huge responsibility, but it’s also a sign of success. You climbed as high as you could on the ladder, and you’re on top of the world – er, America. If you were that successful, your life would be complete. Now, let me tell you the story of one of our early presidents: John Quincy Adams. He lived in his father’s shadow, and he was exposed to violence at a very young age. John Quincy Adams was the worst critic of himself imaginable. He wrote in his diary after being the private secretary to the American minister to Russia, the secretary at the Treaty of Paris, the president, and a congressman: His life had been a succession of disappointments. “I can scarcely recollect a single instance of success to anything that I ever undertook.” (information provided by Cracked). And this was a man who accomplished more in his life than most people will. This reason is exactly why we need to make our cases of the American Dream Curse more manageable, or else we’ll end up thinking like this (probably to a less extreme extent).

How you can begin to fix it: The problem with writing and other such things is that no matter how much you accomplish, it never feels like it’s enough. There’s always going to be someone who did more than you, better than you, and it begins to feel more like a high score board on an arcade game than your own personal success story. (I’m never going to beat 88heliod, might as well just give up!) Bottom line: Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s really easy to do, and it does start off as an innocent motivational factor. “I want to be like Robert Jordan.” Others will compare you, and they’ll use it against you, saying that you’ll never be as good as X author, kind of like when Stephanie Meyer was being criticized and told that her writing would never ever be as good at Stephen King’s. Whether or not you view either author favorably, they both write for different genres from one another, so that’s another problematic aspect of comparing yourself to others. Someone may be great at writing mystery, and you may not be, but that’s not a good way to define yourself.

Find other ways to motivate yourself. If you compare yourself to others, then that starts a very toxic trend within you. Remember, success is relative, and you have to accept that there will always be someone who puts out more work than you and does a better job at it. Even the most successful people probably think there’s someone better out there than them. But that does not make you a bad writer. And guess what? It’s not a competition. It’s not a race to see who’s the better writer. You didn’t take up writing because you wanted to outsell J.K. Rowling; you took it up because it’s something you genuinely enjoy. If your ambition is to be an even better writer than (insert your favorite author here), then you’re writing for the wrong reasons, and you’ll only end up disappointing yourself. This is your success story, and your story shouldn’t depend on being able to out-write another author. Look at it this way: If I don’t outsell a famous author, no big whoop. I’ll at least have accomplished something and made great use of my time. Be careful to also not compare yourself to others in the way that you believe you’ve accomplished more than they ever will. As an author, it’s easy to let the ego get to your head. “Yaaaas! I finished writing this book I spent ten years on! What are you doing with your life!?” Yeah, don’t do that. Don’t belittle someone. Success is relative, and success is great, but you should be humble about it. Yes, it’s a great accomplishment, and you should celebrate that, but you can totally do that without putting others down.

And that concludes this session of Cursebreak! Future entries will likely be much shorter than this, but since this was the most important aspect of it, I chose to say a lot.

TL;DR: Don’t compare yourself to others because that is a toxic thing to do to yourself.


Hello, everyone! I’m going to be doing a small, motivational series called ‘Cursebreak!’ I may or may not have mentioned before what I call ‘the American Dream Curse/Syndrome,’ which can be described as the feeling that you’re constantly wasting your time when you’re not doing something productive. This curse is easy to slip into if you’re dedicated to writing, and at times, it’s necessary to have. But if you don’t manage it correctly, it can make you miserable. ‘Cursebreak!’ will feature small, weekly reminders to take time for yourself. Sometimes, when we write, we get this tunnel vision, and all we can think about is getting the job done. If not dealt with properly, it can result in us neglecting our health, which causes our writing to suffer. Make no mistake, this isn’t an excuse to be lazy, and I’m definitely not promoting laziness, but I believe that breaks are necessary, even when it comes to something we enjoy. It’s important to not let yourself become overworked, because that will result in you ultimately getting less done. The point of ‘Cursebreak!’ is to break you away from the adverse side of the American Dream Curse, which causes you to think negatively about yourself and your writing if it goes unmanaged. ‘Cursebreak!’ will also help individuals manage their time more effectively, because writing and taking care of yourself are not mutually exclusive things. It’s not one or the other; it’s both. I recommend that every diligent writer subscribes to ‘Cursebreak!’ because not only will they enjoy life more, but they will enjoy writing more as a result. I will post ‘Cursebreak!’ snippets on Saturdays. Today is an exception, because I really want to get this thing started. Of course, I’ll be making a page for the ‘Cursebreak!’ snippets in case you miss some posts.

Stay tuned!

Why R&R is important

There’s a reason paid vacation days are a thing. Imagine if we all worked 24/7 year round. I don’t like to think about it. Obviously, if you’re constantly working, your morale will go down, and you’ll quickly grow to hate what you’re doing, so breaks are necessary. We’ve been told this time and time again. It’s why it’s guaranteed in a lot of our work contracts that we’re entitled to fifteen minute breaks after 4 hours of labor, because if you had to carry out the whole shift without a single moment to sit down, you’ll burn out quickly and interact negatively towards the people who are providing you a paycheck.

So then why do we beat ourselves up so much if we do take breaks? Writing may be your life, and it’s what you do for fun, but a lot of us, myself included, aren’t willing to admit it when we need a break. How could you possibly need a break from something you claim to enjoy doing? For some of us, publishing is the thing that’s going to make it so our names aren’t forgotten. Writing is our legacy, and we enjoy doing it. Sometimes, it feels like it’s the only thing that matters, especially when you see everyone else around you just bathing in success.

Writing may be fun, but it requires a lot of discipline. You have to pay attention to the mannerisms of real people closely, or else you can’t write believable characters. You need to be able to admit when you’re wrong, and try not to defend yourself when you mess up. You have to be willing to throw away or at least revamp old drafts you spent so much time on for the sake of the greater good. You have to be willing to cut time out of your day specifically for writing. You have to remind yourself to not be an arrogant snob all the time because of the quantity of works you’ve written. There’s a reason not everyone pursues writing as a lifestyle, and it’s because it is so emotionally investing. If you view writing less as a hobby, and more as a career, then you have so many obstacles to overcome. It’s probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do because it’s such a cutthroat industry, and almost nobody who can help you wants you to succeed. Every other aspiring author may view you as competition, and it can hurt if you see someone who is better than you. Etc. Etc. Etc. After you experience the pains of writing, it’s clear to see why the alcoholic author trope is even a thing. Writing is easy since it’s a skill that comes to you with time and experience, but getting your work out there and getting enough people to care about it is obscenely difficult.

The point of that long paragraph was to demonstrate that yeah, writing is fun, but it is so taxing. It’s harder than a lot of people think, and while things like e-publishing are making it easier for people to get their work out there, it’s also kind of risky since you’re likely passing up the chance to have a professional editor look at it (Not that I don’t trust my current editor to do an excellent job. She most definitely did). So imagine if each of your days was that emotionally invested. Of course, you’re going to get tired, and even though you enjoy writing, it’s that dark, demanding side that will cause you to hate it if you put too much time at once towards it.

And that’s why you need rest and relaxation without beating yourself up over it. If you do take a break, and all you do is sit there and constantly think of how you’re wasting your time, you’re not going to feel like you had much of a break at all, and you’ll be even more reluctant to tackle your work. That results in getting even less work done. Don’t feel bad if you need to take a day or two for yourself to fully recover, especially if you have things like work and/or school to dedicate time to (And depression or anxiety, you know, things in general that kill motivation). The way I do R&R is play Runescape or some other video game. While I’m playing those games, sometimes I think to myself, “Wow, this has nothing to do with anything. What does it matter to anyone else if my combat level is 52? Is this really going to matter in the long scheme of things?” And the answer is no, not really, at least not in the way you’re thinking. The point is, you’re enjoying yourself when you do those things. No, it’s not going to matter if you lounge in the Jacuzzi for a while. It won’t matter several years down the road if you choose to play Skyrim for 5 hours. Except, it kind of does matter. The things you choose to do in your spare time do have an impact, even if it’s only really small. Those things you choose to do in your free time, that’s what makes you you. You’d be an awfully boring person if all you did was write, and you’d probably run out of things to write about. You see, you need these life experiences; you need to do those things you want to do in your free time. Writing is inspired by the things we do and the things we experience. The people we choose to interact with. The way we spend our time in our busy day-to-day lives. What we like to do for fun. It’s what makes us interesting. I’m sure a lot of us have experience in dealing with people who are only interested or obsessed with one thing, and it’s boring talking to them. You quickly run out of things to discuss, if you had any to begin with. Writing is important, yes, and sometimes, you’ll have to do it even if you don’t want to, but if you’re not enjoying life to its fullest extent, then what are you doing with your life? How can you say that’s a life well-spent? As I’ve said before, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your book surely isn’t going to get done in a day. After you’ve put forth enough effort, don’t feel bad if you decide to crack open a beer, or a soda, or water, or whatever it is you drink to take the edge off. Don’t feel bad if you decide to play a video game for a few hours. It’s necessary to your development. It’s what makes you human.